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A Warning to Every Church
I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not. Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church. – 3 John 9-10
Most Christians have never heard the name Diotrephes. He appears in only two verses of the New Testament—3 John 9–10—yet his shadow has stretched across two thousand years of church history. Many congregations have encountered someone who carried his spirit, even if they never knew his name.
This is not merely an ancient character tucked away in a forgotten epistle. Diotrephes represents a recurring danger—a personality and posture that can quietly cripple the work of God.
A Man Who Walked Over Others
In the opening of 3 John we meet Gaius, a man commended for walking in truth, loving the brethren, and helping the work of the gospel. Then the letter turns abruptly:
“I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.” — 3 John 9
That single description exposes the heart of the issue: he loved to have the preeminence.
Not leadership—supremacy.
Not service—control.
Not influence—domination.
John did not record his name to shame one man. The Holy Spirit preserved it to warn every church that would ever open its doors. I believe this is a spirit. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Believers can give place to the enemy’s influence (see Ephesians 4:27). This is such a common thread among so many church conflicts over the years and in different locations, I am forced to conclude this is a demonic spirit, sent to wreak havoc on the churches.
The Marks of the Diotrephes Spirit
John identifies several traits that still show up in congregations today.
1. He Rejected Accountability
“Receiveth us not.”
An apostolic letter arrived, and Diotrephes ignored it. Godly counsel was offered, and he refused it.
Refusing correction is often the first visible sign of spiritual pride.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.” — Proverbs 12:15
A heart that cannot be counseled will soon become a heart that cannot be trusted.
2. He Used His Tongue as a Weapon
John says he was:
“…prating against us with malicious words…” — 3 John 10
The term prating describes reckless, empty, excessive talk. This was not honest disagreement but intentional harm—character assassination disguised as concern. Churches rarely collapse from open discussion; they collapse from whispered narratives that slowly poison trust. It was malicious.
3. He Controlled the Church by Force
Diotrephes not only rejected the brethren himself, he forbade others to receive them and even cast people out of the church. Power without humility always turns harsh. What should have been a family of believers became a territory to be guarded.
J. Vernon McGee’s Timeless Warning
Years ago J. Vernon McGee captured this spirit with painful accuracy:
“Diotrephes loved to have the preeminence. He was a dictator in the church. He was a man who wanted to rule or ruin. If he couldn’t have his way, he would wreck the church. He strutted around like a peacock—puffed up, inflated with his own importance. Woe be unto anyone who opposed him. If he was a layman, I feel sorry for his pastor, because Diotrephes wanted to keep the pastor under his thumb so that he himself could preside. He was self-opinionated, self-exalting, and self-sufficient. He would have claimed to be a self-made man rather than allowing the Holy Spirit to make him over.
I have met Diotrephes—not just once, but in church after church. I’ve watched men like this wreck congregations. And not only have I met Diotrephes, I’ve met Mrs. Diotrephes as well. Search your heart. You can destroy a church if you are one who loves to have the preeminence. The fruit of the Spirit is meekness—but Diotrephes was a dictator.”
— J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible, commentary on 3 John 9–10
Those words are uncomfortable because they are familiar. This spirit is not confined to one era or denomination.
Why This Still Matters
Diotrephes can appear in many forms:
- a member who must control every decision,
- a small clique that runs the church behind the scenes,
- a leader who confuses stewardship with ownership,
- anyone who punishes disagreement instead of weighing truth.
John promised accountability: “If I come, I will remember his deeds.” Love does not ignore destructive behavior. Sometimes protecting the flock requires uncomfortable courage. Diotrephes must be confronted lovingly yet firmly. (Matthew 18:15-17; 1 Timothy 5:19-120; Galatians 6:1)
The Danger of Becoming Him
It is easy to read 3 John and picture someone else. But the passage demands harder questions of us:
- Do I need to be heard more than I need to be holy?
- Do I resist voices I cannot control?
- Do I talk about people instead of to people?
- Do I equate God’s work with my influence?
No believer plans to become a Diotrephes. That spirit grows slowly—one offended conversation, one unyielded opinion, one unchecked ego at a time.
Yet Scripture offers another path:
“Meekness” — Galatians 5:23
Meekness is not weakness; it is strength under God’s control. Diotrephes was strength out of control.
Hope Beyond Diotrephes
John did not end his letter with this dark portrait. In the next verses, he pointed to Demetrius, a man of good report and genuine character. Bad examples are never the final chapter of God’s church.
The lesson is clear:
- Pride corrupts leadership.
- Ambition poisons fellowship.
- Silence enables destruction.
But also:
God sees.
God remembers.
God will act.
The church does not need more dominating personalities. It needs more humble servants who fear God more than losing influence.
Don’t follow Diotrephes.
And by God’s grace—don’t become him.
unfeigned faith 
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